March 12, 2024
Dear Members and Friends,
If you view conflict as something to be avoided, you’re not alone! For a long time, I viewed conflict as a problem to be uprooted in my relationships. It is easy to believe that the presence of conflict means that we have done something wrong. Have you ever felt that significant disagreements and differences should be avoided in your faith community? Rev. Terasa Cooley challenges this perspective, and I am grateful that many among us have read her book, Transforming Conflict: The Blessings of Congregational Turmoil, our current Congregational Read.
We are fortunate to have Rev. Terasa Cooley with us on Sunday, March 24th, when she will lead our worship service and then facilitate workshops in the Meeting House 12:00-3:00 PM and 5:00-8:00PM. The theme of the service is “The Blessings of Congregational Conflict” but knowing Rev. Terasa’s work, it could also be entitled “Holy Curiosity.” Childcare and food will be provided at both workshops. No need to sign up, but do let Angi Haen know if you need childcare email Angi.
Come learn for yourself from Rev. Terasa Cooley how approaching conflict openly—and letting go of the idea that conflict automatically means we’ve done something wrong—can transform us as both individuals and as a congregation. She has developed an approach to congregational life that we can embrace in tandem with all the ministries of the Congregation—and make it possible for all to thrive. If you come to the 10:00 AM service on March 24, I trust that you will be motivated to participate in one of the two workshops that she will facilitate that afternoon.
Rev. Terasa, a UU minister, is the former Lead of the New England Region for the UUA and has served as the Executive Director of the Center for Courage and Renewal. For the last ten years, she has served as an interim minister in several of the larger UU congregations. Her highly acclaimed book has helped many congregations learn how to understand conflict, avoid the usual pitfalls, and navigate their way through in a manner that builds trust and connection.
I have been in consultation with Rev. Terasa for several months and have found her guidance to be highly valuable. I’m excited to now offer all our congregants the opportunity to learn from her expertise, insight, and wisdom. Please make the time in your schedule to join us, so we can all take ownership of creating a beautiful future at TUUCW. Questions? Contact me or
transformingconflict@uuwestport.org.This is vitally important work!
On the weekend that Rev. Terasa is here, be sure to also take in the UU Players production of Rumors!
Warmly,
Alan
from the Tao Te Ching, translated by Stephen Mitchell
Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill.
Keep sharpening your knife and it will blunt.
Chase after money and security and your heart will never unclench.
Care about people’s approval and you will be their prisoner.
Do your work, then step back. The only path to serenity.
Some say that my teaching is nonsense. Others call it lofty but impractical.
But to those who have looked inside themselves, this nonsense makes perfect sense.
And to those who put it into practice, this loftiness has roots that go deep.
I have just three things to teach: simplicity, patience, compassion.
These three are your greatest treasures.
Simple in actions and in thoughts, you return to the source of being.
Patient with both friends and enemies, you accord with the way things are.
Compassionate with yourself, you reconcile all beings in the world.
To live each day as if it might be the last
Is an injunction that that
Marcus Aurelius
Inscribes in his journal to remind himself
That he, too, however privileged, is mortal,
That whatever bounty is destined to reach him
Has reached him already, many times.
But if you take his maxim too literally
And devote your mornings to tinkering with your will,
Your afternoons and evenings to saying farewell
To friends and family, you’ll come to regret it.
Soon your lawyer won’t fit you into his schedule.
Soon your dear ones will hide in a closet
When they hear your heavy steps on the porch.
And then your house will slip into disrepair.
If this is my last day, you’ll say to yourself,
Why waste time sealing drafts in the window frames
Or cleaning gutters or patching the driveway?
If you don’t want your heirs to curse the day
You first opened Marcus’s journals,
Take him simply to mean you should find an hour
Each day to pay a debt or forgive one,
Or write a letter of thanks or apology.
No shame in leaving behind some evidence
You were hoping to live beyond the moment.
No shame in a ticket to a concert seven months off,
Or, better yet, two tickets, as if you were hoping
To meet someone who’d love to join you,
Two seats near the front so you can catch each note.
