Dear Members and Friends,
You likely are familiar with a version of this story. A boy shares with his grandfather his longing to fight those who have caused harm to his family and his desire to find another way, but doesn’t know how to proceed. His grandfather says, “You have two wolves within you, one that seeks to heal and build up and engage in nonviolence and the other that wants to tear down and avenge the wrongs our family has suffered.” The boy asks, “But which one of the wolves shall win?” The grandfather responds, “It depends on which one you feed.”
It becomes more and more challenging to read through the national and world news on a regular basis. The escalating violence Israel is raining on Lebanon is scary. The Russian invasion of Ukraine drags on with both sides taking huge losses. The return of genocide at levels unseen are truly heart wrenching.
How can thoughtful people largely removed from all of this violence make sense of it? What can members of our community be doing to process it and what can we do to prevent retaliatory behavior from being normalized in our community here in Fairfield County?
As Unitarian Universalists, we have long harbored an optimistic faith, affirming the possibilities of the human spirit to rise above resentments and retaliations. For it’s clear a tooth for a tooth and an eye for an eye will leave whole nations toothless and blind—and could ignite violence in many more parts of the globe. It’s frightening.
As a congregation, we have the space and tradition in which to return to being creatively maladjusted to the disturbing norms emerging in our society. We cultivate community where we can acknowledge our sorrows and fears so that we can know authentic joy and resilience. In the midst of the nation’s and world’s challenges, I’m grateful that we can attend to how we want to be together—and cultivate practices of of healthy communication, honest dialogue, and discerning creative ways to embody our ideals. It takes attending to how we want to be together.
I hope you will join us on October 6, when Rev. Terasa Cooley will join us. Her sermon will be on “The Blessings of Shared Leadership.” And then you are invited to stay for lunch and Rev. Terasa’s workshop “The Blessings of Congregational Conflict.” She notes that many people try to avoid conflict in community out of fear of damaging relationships. But there is a way in which dealing with conflict well can actually strengthen communities. Come participate and:
- identify your individual patterns of dealing with conflict and strategies for adjusting them in healthy directions
- learn skills in dialogue and “lowering the temperature” of difficult conversations
- analyze the patterns of congregational conflict
- learn tools for having open and creative congregational processes
Together we can strengthen our community and make it possible for us to navigate our national landscape where hate and fear threaten the bonds of our larger community and our wider world where conflicts have erupted into violence.
Warmly,
Alan
This past Sunday, I shared a reading that helps me in this time. It is by Rev. A. Powell Davies and written in the aftermath of World War II, when American Christianities began rejecting the basic goodness of human beings. To many, our UU theology appeared out of touch with reality. Yet, in the midst of the horrors of that time—and the horrors of this time, I take solace in his words:
The world we knew is passing.
All things grow strange, all but the stout heart’s courage.
All the undiminished luster of an ancient dream,
which we shall dream again,
as others have dreamed before us.
Pilgrims forever, of a world forever new.
And what we loved and lost
we lose to find how great a thing is loving.
And the power of it to make a dream come true.
For us there is no haven or refuge.
For us there is only the wilderness, wild and trackless,
where we shall build a road and sing a song.
But after us, after us there is the promised land.
Strong from our sorrows and singing from our joys,
our gift to those who follow us
along the road that we build, singing our song.
When innocent life is slaughtered and the basest impulses of human beings engulf entire communities, we cannot pretend that atrocities aren’t happening. Our theology often responds, “Well, all of us human beings are capable of great good and great evil.” But that isn’t satisfying. Those of us who intentionally try to feed the inner world that seeks nonviolent solutions to conflicts, how do we carry on when there appears to be many people feeding their wolves of retribution?
We simply cannot do the same. We must stay strong in spirit—the stout heart’s courage— and cultivate our spiritual practices, and create the community we seek among our members as well as stand with others who share our values. It is our job to feed the wolf of nonviolence and reconciliation, trusting that our growth allows us to witness for a compassionate and just community.
