Dear Members and Friends,
I am delighted to share that beginning in September, I will serve the UU Society of Geneva as their Consulting Minister. Geneva is an outer suburb of Chicago on the Fox River, about 45 minutes from my home in Oak Park. The church was “gathered” in 1842 and proudly keeps their original covenant (though dropping the God and Christ references in 1889):
Being desirous of promoting practical goodness in the world, and of aiding each other in our moral and religious improvement, we have associated ourselves together—not as agreeing in opinion, not as having attained universal truth in belief or perfection in character, but as seekers after truth and goodness.
Even in 1842, Unitarians recognized that there will be disagreement in religious community and that we’re never perfect. And yet, we gather with common purpose, supporting one another to cultivate lives of integrity, service, and joy.
It has been deeply meaningful to have served you over the last two years to pursue a similar mission. When I first arrived, the very first question I asked was “How do you want to be together?” I asked this question because there had been some disagreements that caused distrust and division. Since then, together, we re-built trust through creating spaces for honest and open sharing. We looked at how disagreements can be better navigated. We reflected on communication patterns and habits. We attended to processes of decision-making and transparency. I’m proud of the great progress you’ve made in becoming a healthier congregation!
There is much strength to build on, and there is still work to do. Given how a recent flare-up of disagreements occurred, I want to name a few things that I’d like to everyone to take to heart:
- Process matters more than outcome. At UU Westport, congregants are encouraged to be part of the decision-making where feasible – especially on “big” public items – and so having open-air processes that allow everyone to weigh in and express themselves matters. Defining those processes and holding ourselves accountable to them will be great work for you to continue next year and beyond
- Assume good intentions of leaders and staff. Everyone cares here. Your leaders put in a huge amount of time. I marvel at the dedication and thoughtfulness your leaders take in creating processes. However, sometimes miscommunication and misunderstanding occurs. We’re a human institution—-and this is inevitable! It pains me when individuals blame or chastise leaders for an outcome who have truly been more focused on process. We are all human, and sometimes mistakes are made or misunderstandings occur. When this happens, how do you want to be together? I would hope kindness and seeking to understand and resolve would be our default response.
- Refrain from sending emails with emotionally charged content—and never send emails complaining about someone else to others. This congregation has a long pattern of this occurring, and it’s really not helpful. It’s toxic, divisive, and hurtful to the wider community. I would encourage anyone who wants to write such an email to write it, save it, and then put it aside forever without ever sending “send.” And anyone who receives such a message, to pick up the phone and call up the person to ask them, with respect, to recall it—or to contact the Pastoral Associate Chaplains because ultimately this behavior is a sign of a need for pastoral support.
- A grievance process is clearly needed as you move forward. It’s okay to have grievances, to feel wronged, but what is needed is a clear and open process to resolve grievances that emerge. Until a grievance process is created, the Committee on Ministry, the Right Relations Team, and the Pastoral Care Chaplains can all help. Rev. Carlton Smith will be a great resource to engage with these outstanding leaders to develop a grievance process that can be engaged when someone feels that either they have been wronged or that a decision didn’t engage UU values.
- Healthy congregations keep their values and mission front and center. I trust that congregational conversations over the next year will address how you want to be a faith community in a nation that is implementing policies that fly in the face of our UU values.
Because I am on currently on vacation and will then be on study leave, I am not be able to respond to emails or take phone calls outside of emergency pastoral care. However, if the Board or the Committee on Ministry request a time for a community conversation, I will make myself available.
I am grateful for having had the opportunity over the past two years to invite your congregation into becoming ever more a learning community that can adapt to change. May you thrive with your future ministers with the good learning that we have done together. I look forward to hearing how it all goes!
Warmly,
Rev. Alan Taylor
