Dear Friends,
I’m often surprised when I discover some new meanings in old things, especially when I’m standing in the lectern or pulpit, reading something with which I’m very familiar, but hearing the words in a new way.
For example, I’ve known the Lucille Clifton poem about ‘running into a new year’ for a decade or more. I’ve used it at the first service in January several times. Last Sunday I finally got it, in a new, deeper, more personal way. She writes it this way:
i am running into a new year
and the old years blow back
like a wind
that i catch in my hair
like strong fingers like
all my old promises and
it will be hard to let go
of what i said to myself
about myself
when I was sixteen and twenty-six
and thirty-six
even thirty-six but
i am running into a new year
and i beg what i love and
i leave to forgive me
There’s a well-worn saying about how easy it is to have 20/20 hindsight. It ‘s easy to criticize someone for not getting it the first time-for taking so long to understand. But there’s a certain satisfaction in getting it, finally, and not having to apologize for taking so long. To have 20/20 hindsight means that you learned something-you looked back and you get it! Nice going!
The poet’s phrase, “strong fingers” is a reminder that it’s difficult to let go and to move on; we tend to hold on tightly-we hold on to our old opinions, we even hold on to anger, guilt and resentment-things that kill the spirit. Yes, it’s difficult to change your mind. It’s not easy to let go of old ideas about yourself, things you ‘said to yourself about yourself when you were sixteen, or twenty-six.’ They’re tenacious.
But it’s the closing lines of her New Year’s poem that finally penetrated to the depths of my psyche last Sunday while I recited it: “i beg what i love and i leave to forgive me.”
You can’t run into a new year, or a new day, carrying a hundred pounds of guilt, regret or resentment. So, lighten the load, let go, loosen those strong fingers that strangle the spirit, by giving thanks for the great gift of Life, including the struggles you’ve had, so far. They’ve strengthened you. New challenges are waiting. Ready? Let’s make a run for it!
To Life,
Frank
